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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23424790">Of Fasting, Agnosticism, and Conversations</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary'>Diary</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bechdel Test Pass, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Families of Choice, Friendship/Love, Gen, Late Night Conversations, POV Bruce Banner, Religious Conflict, Religious Discussion, Tony Stark Cooks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:00:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,528</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23424790</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Wanda is fasting for Lent, some of the other Avengers are worried, and as her doctor, Bruce is trying to keep his personal feelings out of things. Complete.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Of Fasting, Agnosticism, and Conversations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Graceless offers Steve a bottle of water.</p><p>Steve takes it. “Thank you.”</p><p>Chirping, Graceless zooms off.</p><p>“You should come over to the towers for dinner more often. It made Tamila’s day last night.”</p><p>“I’m glad.” Bookmarking his page, he takes his glasses off. “You know there isn’t much I’ll refuse when it comes to her.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Steve sits down. “You could come over occasionally when she’s not visiting. I know Tony would be thrilled.”</p><p>“I come over during his birthday. Look, Steve, not to be rude, but I doubt you’ve come over to talk about how often I come over for tower dinners.”</p><p>Steve nods. “Still, it’s something I thought I’d add. I’m here about Wanda.”</p><p>“Okay.” This is definitely surprising, and he can’t help but feel it might be bad. Everyone has always been careful what they say about Wanda around him, and this has eased a little since she can became his patient, but he’s not sure he wants it to ease much more. He’s not going to head for India if someone starts singing her praises, but he’d rather not have friendly chats about how much progress she’s making at SHIELD academy.</p><p>“She’s fasting for Lent, and we’re worried about how she’s doing it.”</p><p>“Um, okay. I noticed she only had salad last night. If she’s adopting a vegetarian or pescatarian diet, then-”</p><p>“If that was all, I’d have no problem supporting her. Bruce, she’s eating one meal a day, and it’s usually a lot smaller than the salad.”</p><p>“What?” He’d assumed she’d had a big meal earlier during the day.</p><p>“Yeah. On Sundays, she can have three meals, but every other day, it’s only one. And if she were having her three squares a day, like I said, I wouldn’t care if it was vegetarian or not, but adding the lack of meat to only one meal, and I can’t help but worry. Sam, Nat, and Clint and I have all tried to talk to her, but she’s told us to butt out of her religious practises. Tony’s agreed not to say anything, and we’re hoping, as her doctor, you may have more luck.”</p><p>In the worse case scenario, India’s still on the table.</p><p>“Okay. I can’t make any promises, but I’ll see if I can talk to her. Exactly how long has she been doing this?”</p><p>“Since Monday.”</p><p>“Good. I mean, it’s only been four days. Assuming we can get this handled soon, this isn’t going to cause any lasting health effects.”</p><p>“Thanks, Bruce.”</p><p>…</p><p>Feeling a headache brewing, he lies down on his office couch.</p><p>“Are you alright, Dr Banner?”</p><p>“Do you have any suggestions on this Wanda situation, Jarvis?”</p><p>“Her dietary practises are not currently at the point where I’m authorised to intervene.”</p><p>“Yeah. Good for you. I’m really wishing I hadn’t agreed to try to do something. I’ve spent the last couple of hours breaking down the medical reasons her doing this is bad and could cause serious problems into easy to understand terms, but- I don’t think it’d make any difference. It took her own country being under attack for her to realise that targeting me, the others, and America itself wasn’t a good idea, and we were targeted due to her hatred of Tony.”</p><p>“Hell, if Ultron had left Sokovia alone, I doubt she and her brother ever would have stopped going after us.”</p><p>“I’m not qualified to make such an assessment on Miss Maximoff’s character, however, I do find it worth noting that the others disagree with this.”</p><p>“I know. But whether I’m right about this or not, me and them can all agree that she is stubborn when it comes to her beliefs. If she genuinely thinks doing this is mandated by her religion or a good practise of spirituality, agnostic me isn’t going to change her mind.”</p><p>A quiet sound fills the air, and turning his head, he sees Graceless has brought him Ginger ale, crackers with honey, and a jar of peppermint oil.</p><p>Sitting up, he pats her. “Thanks. Don’t worry, I’m not sick, just stressed. But still, thank you.”</p><p>He eats the crackers, and when he’s finished, he’s come to the realisation of how and why he’s been approaching this the wrong way.</p><p>Finding his phone, he sends a message to Wanda.</p><p>…</p><p>It’s after midnight when Wanda shows up at the bus stop near SHIELD’s academy.</p><p>“I’m sorry it took so long.”</p><p>Closing the ebook he was reading, he puts his phone up. “It’s not a problem.”</p><p>She sit down. “Someone asked you to do something about my fasting for Lent?”</p><p>“Yeah. But I realise I shouldn’t have made that promise. My concern for my friends along with wanting to do my part in maintaining the Avenger initiate put the fact you’re my patient further back than it should have. So, as your doctor, I’m telling you that I have concerns about you fasting in this way, but ultimately, it’s your call.”</p><p>“If you have any questions, if you need help, contact me. It’d be a good idea for you to start taking supplements and working out exactly how much food and what all it should consist of you’re going to have for each meal. Other than this, let’s agree: I won’t join the others in trying to change your mind, and neither you or them involve me beyond my role as your doctor.”</p><p>She’s quiet for a moment. “You’re concerned about them?”</p><p>“Well, I certainly empathise with them. Believe it or not, I’ve had people I care about do things that made me worried for them. That’s their position with you right now. It’s not a fun one to be in, but whatever help they were hoping I could provide them, I probably shouldn’t, even if I can.”</p><p>He leans back. “On the run, I helped a fair number of people, but I’ve never really had that many patients. You’re one of the few longer-termed ones I’ve had. Sometimes, that means my instincts aren’t always exactly what they should be.”</p><p>Leaning back, too, she taps her boots against the pavement. “I appreciate it.”</p><p>“Have a good-”</p><p>“Why are you concerned about me fasting this way?”</p><p>“Because, it’s not healthy. Flat-out, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I’m not saying it’s something that can’t be done by certain people. With your genetic modifications, there’s a chance it might be less dangerous for you than regular humans, but it’s still not good. It’s going to make you weaker, at least, temporarily. It’s going to cause discomfort. If you want, before I came to my realisation, I made a presentation of how and why this wasn’t good in what I think is an easily comprehensible read.”</p><p>She laughs, and he imagines most of the other Avengers would, too.</p><p>“Sorry. Um, you don’t- even if you didn’t have your issues with me as a person, not your patient, you wouldn’t agree with me doing this for religious reasons.”</p><p>“I find it odd how many people think I’m anti-religious,” he comments. “Being against religious extremism isn’t that controversial of a view, I don’t think. People find comfort in rituals and believing in things greater than themselves. If someone believes there’s some benevolent force out there looking out for them, I might disagree, but what kind of asshole would go out of their way to convince them otherwise?”</p><p>She looks over, and under the streetlight, her green eyes are startled.</p><p>“I don’t agree with you doing this for any reason. There’s no medical reason I’ve heard or read about where a person only having one meal for over a month is advisable. But as long as you’re not using violent methods to convince other people to do it, it’s your body, your life, your health.”</p><p>“Do you think the others would try to stop you if you did something like this?”</p><p>“What makes you think they’d know?”</p><p>“Tony probably would.”</p><p>“That’s true,” he acknowledges. “I guess the difference is: You don’t think you’re doing anything wrong. I’d know I was, and therefore, I’d have an incentive to try to hide it. Morally, maybe it’s not, but they understand enough to know it’s not healthy. So, yes, Tony would definitely try to stop me. The others might be willing to let me do it, but then, with the Avenger initiate and questions and concerns about the other guy thrown in, they might worry about me doing it more than they are you.”</p><p>“People do unhealthy things all the time.”</p><p>“There are degrees. Look, I’ve already said I’m not going to try to change your mind. If you need help or want to talk, you know where to find me.”</p><p>“Yes. Thank you.”</p><p>…</p><p>Something tingles in the back of his neck, and turning around, he sees Wanda’s been following him in the air.</p><p>“We’ve talked about you being creepy.”</p><p>She gives him a startled look, and then, looking down, she says, “Oh. Right. You walked through wet grass.”</p><p>He hadn’t noticed, but he’ll take her word for it. “It’s less the flying part and more the following me without me knowing part.”</p><p>“I was gathering my thoughts.” She lands without a sound in front of him. “I don’t understand. I didn’t think they’d care. My own parents and brother wouldn’t have. Because, you’re right, I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong.”</p><p>Unable to keep his sigh in, he asks, “Want to go to my office?”</p><p>She nods.</p><p>…</p><p>Graceless makes an offended sound when Wanda takes a water bottle but refuses the offer of fudge, oatmeal-raisin, and sugar cookies.</p><p>“Miss Maximoff is on a religious diet right now.”</p><p>“She’s never going to like me,” Wanda comments.</p><p>He still isn’t sure exactly if Jarvis and the Stark bots have true sentience or not. In Graceless’ case, despite what Tony’s said- some part of him isn’t sure Tony didn’t program her to be his watcher.</p><p>Setting the rest of the cookies on his desk, Graceless makes another unpleasant noise at Wanda before leaving.</p><p>Wrapping the cookies, he puts them away.</p><p>He’s not a therapist. He doesn’t mind listening to Tony (when he’s not dead tired, at least), but somehow, he’s gone from someone who stayed in the same country as Wanda Maximoff only due to the other Avengers to knowing things about her even they don’t know. And though he doesn’t care if she’s into BDSM or accidentally gave Romanov’s cat strawberry milk instead of water once (Midnight was fine), he’d rather not know these things.</p><p>Going over to the couch, he sits down. “Like I said, morally, you might not be doing anything wrong. Hunger is a big thing for some of us. Steve grew up during the Great Depression. Sergeant Barnes, too. Agent Romanov, I don’t know whether she ever went hungry or not, but she grew up in a country where so many people died from lack of food. And Tony and I- world hunger is something that could be eliminated if not for politics and human greed, stupidity, and cruelty.”</p><p>“I’ve heard there’s enough food to feed everyone,” she says. “That there has been for years.”</p><p>“There is. But there are evil leaders in this world and laypeople who, through ignorance, maliciousness, or both, refuse to do more to try make things work. Tony and I and other dedicated people can only do so much before we start crossing big legal and, even, moral lines ourselves.”</p><p>He leans back. “You’re going to be hungry. You might already be. And it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t affect your performance, it doesn’t matter if you don’t give any signs of it. You’re going to be hungry, they’re going to know, and some of them, this is going to hurt them. It’s bad knowing there are people literally dying of starvation. Hurts. But in a lot of ways, that’s abstract. Compartmentalisable.”</p><p>“I made a promise to God.”</p><p>All he can do is shrug.</p><p>“I know you don’t believe. But don’t you, at least, agree that promises should be kept?”</p><p>“Usually, yes.”</p><p>Making a frustrated noise, she rubs her temples. “Pretend that I’m just a regular patient. You don’t have to like me, but we don’t have all this history between us. Could you do that?”</p><p>“Okay,” he says. “You’re a regular patient. Why’ve you come here?”</p><p>“Because,” she brings her legs up and wraps her arms around them, “I’m trying to be a good Christian, but you and everyone else I care about and respect have a problem with a promise I made to God.”</p><p>“I don’t have a-” He realises this isn’t the best tact. “Okay. You’re an adult, you’re sane, and I don’t believe you pose a risk to yourself or others. I might have reservations about what you’re doing, but I’m not judging you for doing it. Okay? Even if you were a witch who once attacked my mind and unleashed a horrible creature that killed countless innocent people, I wouldn’t judge for this.”</p><p>Her glare is a little intimidating, he’ll privately admit, but then, letting out a chuckle, she simply presses her legs even further into her chest.</p><p>“That being said, I am concerned. I’m agnostic. If it doesn’t offend you for me to say this, though, I’ve had some experience with making promises to myself. I’ll try to do better. If I get through this, I’m going to a certain thing or refrain from doing something.”</p><p>She looks over.</p><p>“Sometimes, when I make these promises, I fail. Sometimes, at the time I make them, I think they’re logical or right, but it turns out that that they aren’t. People make promises to themselves and other people that, occasionally, can’t or shouldn’t be kept.”</p><p>“Assuming your god is real and assuming this god is benevolent, then, I can’t agree he, she, it wants anyone to unnecessarily suffer. There’s a difference between deciding to forgo a luxury or convenience and doing without a necessity, which proper nutrition is. Those people you love and respect, I’m going to ask you consider that, if they’re the type who are usually supportive of your religious practises, this might be a sign that the promise you made isn’t one that the person, being, whatever you made it to wants you to keep it.”</p><p>Looking down at her hands, she wiggles her fingers. “I haven’t felt God in a long time. For so long, I was so angry. Then, after I realised- I was sad. Empty, sometimes. I know I can’t make things right with you, but I can still do good. I can make the world a better place. The right way. I just- I don’t know if God does truly forgive all or not.”</p><p>More than not being a psychiatrist or psychologist, he sure as hell isn’t someone who anyone struggling with religious faith should come to.</p><p>Except, he has a feeling he might understand what she’s not saying here, but- he could be wrong.</p><p>“If you’re trying to punish yourself, take it from someone who knows, it won’t work. Whether you escaping legal consequences for what you did to us and for helping Ultron is right or wrong, it’s done. I spent almost ten years on the run, and now, I could live in luxury and never work another day for the rest of my life if I want. We both have action figures sold of us.”</p><p>“You didn’t-”</p><p>“I did. I’m responsible for the other guy’s creation, and I’m directly responsible for some of the times he was unleashed. Those people he’s killed, they’re all, even the ones in Johannesburg, they’re, at least, all partly down to me. It hurts. It will always hurt. I’m never going to have peace. I call myself agnostic, because, I can’t disprove the existence of any omniscient, omnipresent deities. But I don’t believe there is.”</p><p>“And if you were proven wrong, you would still reject any of them,” she says.</p><p>“Right. And whatever I feel, we both know, if you could find true peace, the others would be happy for you. The same way you’d be happy for Agent Romanov if she could.”</p><p>“I’m not- it’s not about self-punishing. My brother and I used to be part of those people who were starving. Sometimes were better than others. Other times, I could feel my heart beating off-course. Our stomachs growled so loudly. I wouldn’t starve myself. There are so many people who, if they could just have access to the food I do- and it would be an insult to Pietro.”</p><p>“Intention or not, it may be like that again. The others, they don’t want you finding out if it will be.”</p><p>“It may be like that again?”</p><p>“It’s a possibility, but given your genetic enhancements, I can’t say for sure.”</p><p>“I just want to try to connect back to God.”</p><p>“Have you talked to a priest or other religious leader about this?”</p><p>“No. I’ve never been much for that. In Sokovia, maybe if Pietro and I had- now, though, I just don’t agree with most of the churches of I’ve visited.”</p><p>“Well, I’m sorry, but your religious struggle isn’t something I can help with.”</p><p>Nodding, she lowers her legs. “I know. If you could help me make some adjustments to my fasting, though, I’d appreciate it.”</p><p>…</p><p>When they walk into the Avenger tower, he’s surprised to see Sergeant Barnes sitting in at a table with Steve, and based on Wanda’s reaction, she is, too.</p><p>At least, it doesn’t appear Tony is trying to kill Barnes, and it seems Barnes is in control of all of his facilities.</p><p>He wonders: Did Steve already have Barnes coming in when Steve stopped to talk to him, or was it agreed after their conversation that Barnes should be brought in?</p><p>Either way, he now wishes he hadn’t spent more than half his night with Scarlet Witch.</p><p>“Hey,” Steve says. Coming over, he kisses Wanda’s head before squeezing his shoulder. “Bruce, I’m glad you’re here. Tony and I were trying to figure out the best time to try calling you. King T’Challa’s in Arizona on business, and Princess Shuri’s going to be staying here and making use of the labs until her brother’s done.”</p><p>“She’s here,” he asks.</p><p>Steve nods. “She and Tony kicked us out of the kitchen.”</p><p>“You deserved it,” Bucky comments.</p><p>Trying not to laugh, he goes over. “Hey, Bucky. How are you doing?”</p><p>Shaking his hand, Barnes responds, “Good. You, doc?”</p><p>“Can’t complain.”</p><p>“It’s good to see you again, Bucky,” Wanda says.</p><p>“You, too. Having any luck keeping Steve out of trouble?”</p><p>“That’s pretty much Sam’s job now,” she answers.</p><p>“Okay, I’ve-” Coming in, Tony pauses. “Bruce!”</p><p>“Hey, Tony.” He returns the hug. “Hope you don’t mind-”</p><p>“Finish that sentence, and I’m having a long talk with Graceless about you.” Letting go, Tony smiles at Wanda. “Starting to wonder if I should get worried about you. Shuri’s in the kitchen, and we’re all about to have breakfast. Bruce, you know you’re more than welcome to join. Are you having breakfast, lunch, or dinner today?”</p><p>“It’s Sunday. All,” Steve answers.</p><p>“Yes, but not just on Sunday. I’ve been talking to Dr Banner, and I’m going to do a vegan-vegetarian diet. Vegan meals every day but Saturday.”</p><p>Both Tony and Steve visibly relax, but interestingly, Barnes seems slightly confused.</p><p>“The- Dr Banner, Miss Maximoff, hello,” Princess Shuri greets. “Okay, the pap and akara is done. Anything else before we eat?”</p><p>“Actually, I was thinking I could whip some vegan blueberry pancakes and a veggie stir-fry.” Tony looks hopefully at them.</p><p>“That sounds good to me,” he finds himself saying.</p><p>“Yes. Thank you, Tony.”</p><p>“Everyone else, if you want to eat now-” Tony starts.</p><p>“I’m supervising,” Shuri declares. “Until your new steamer comes, you can’t be trusted.”</p><p>“New steamer?”</p><p>“Yes, you’re getting a new steamer, whether you acknowledge that this one is faulty or not.”</p><p>“You just don’t know how to-”</p><p>Chuckling, Steve clears his throat. “I don’t mind waiting. Anything I can do to-”</p><p>“No,” Tony and Shuri simultaneously answer, and based on Steve’s sheepish shifting, Barnes might have been accurate in his statement of Steve deserving his banishment.</p><p>Looking a painful mix of conflicted and outright uncomfortable, Tony glances at Barnes, but before anyone can say anything, Barnes says, “I’ll keep him out of trouble.”</p><p>After Tony and Shuri go back to the kitchen, the four of them play cards until, soon, everyone is sitting at a table full of delicious smelling food along with a fragrant cup of tea for him.</p><p>“You’re a vegan, Miss Maximoff?” Shuri asks.</p><p>“Sort of. For right now. I’m fasting for Lent, and for me, this means adopting a vegan diet except for on Sundays when I widen it to include everything vegetarian.”</p><p>“If you’re interested, I could email you some recipes for Wakandan vegetarian dishes. I’m sure there are some vegans, but it’s not a diet that has ever been mainstream there. But one of my brother’s Dora Milaje and fellow tribal leaders are vegetarians.”</p><p>“That would be very nice, thank you. Are there any Wakandan religions that require fasting?”</p><p>Listening to everyone talk, he enjoys the food.</p>
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